Welcome to Baltimore Area Overeaters Anonymous

Overeaters Anonymous, Baltimore Area

Stories of Experience, Strength and Hope

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HOW OA CHANGED MY LIFE
I can't believe it has been four years since I walked into my first OA meeting. That was the beginning of a new life for me. I had seen listings for OA meetings and had even called the phone number to find out about OA, but I was too ill to go to a meeting.

I have a disease that is crippling—mentally, physically and spiritually. It is a progressive disease that gets more debilitating if untreated. It is the disease of compulsive overeating.

I have a husband, two small children, a home, a job and a loving family. I was told I "should" be happy. Yet, I was miserable. When I came into OA, I hated my husband, my kids, my life, my body, myself. I only loved food. My eating was out of control, and eating sweets and getting high were the only things that I enjoyed.

I thought I was the center of the universe, and often I thought I was better than other people. At the same time, I feared that I was not good enough.

I never dared to take a stand or offer my opinions. I often had no opinion or didn't know what it was. I had a tremendous need to be recognized, admired, approved of. I expected everyone to notice little old me, and when they didn't, I was disappointed, sad, lonely and angry. And I ate it. I didn't let people get to know me for fear that they would find out who I really was and would not like me. I held resentments against people and allowed people to live rent free in my head. I didn't realize how harmful these resentments were to me.

I had just attended my 20th high-school reunion, embarrassed that I was heavier than I wanted to be. My excess weight constantly fluctuated between 20 and 35 pounds. I had clothes in sizes 10 to 16. I was uncomfortable and unhappy.

God brought me to these OA rooms in July 1990. I heard people talking about feelings, and I was moved by it. I vowed to myself that night that I would stop eating junk. But the next day we had friends visit who brought a huge dessert that was one of my favorites. What to do?

A power greater than myself led me to dial the OA phone number that I had copied down the night before, and I reached out for help. A human angel answered my plea and asked me, "What are you going to do?" I had a choice! Someone out there cared about me. There was help!

I began to go to three meetings a week, listening to what people were saying, doing what they said to do. Keep coming back. Get a sponsor. Call in your food. Stay abstinent. Make three phone calls a day. Take action. Read the literature. Do it just for today, one day at a time. Act as if. Turn it over. Love yourself. My sponsor was so patient. I called her sometimes two or three times a day, and she listened and laughed and loved me like a gentle mother.

I have learned so much from OA. Miraculous changes have taken place in my life. The weight came off. I was relieved of eating certain foods that I thought I could never live without. Other unhealthy habits fell away.

I began to FEEL! I never realized that by sedating my sadness and anger with sweets, I had robbed myself of feeling the joy and pleasure of being alive! I began to see more clearly, which I couldn't do when I was caught up in the frenzy of what I would eat next, where I would buy it and where I would hide the wrapper. The fog was lifted!

Relationships changed. I began to open up to my husband and others. I became less afraid. As I stayed abstinent, worked the Steps and trusted God, my self-esteem started to grow. As people in meetings loved and accepted me, I slowly accepted myself as a valid person with valid opinions. I found moments of serenity and periods of moderation. I stopped raging at my kids, found I adored my husband and children, and even my coworkers. My recovery benefits everyone I come in contact with.

I have learned that abstinence is the most important thing in my life - abstinence from food, thoughts and actions that hurt me. I have learned that change is necessary, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional - a feeling has a beginning and an end. I have learned to take action. I have learned to ask for what I want and I will get what I need. I have learned to take responsibility for my actions and to realize that there are no victims, only volunteers. I am responsible for my own happiness, and I am not responsible for the rest of the world.

I love knowing that God has a plan for me and that I am powerless. I don't have to seek the approval of everyone in the world; I only have to please God and myself. I am so grateful for the friends I've made in OA, for my sponsors and sponsorees and for my Higher Power. I adore OA. - Reprinted from Lifeline magazine, OA's monthly magazine of recovery, August 1998

WILLINGNESS IS THE KEY
It has been proven to me over and over again that willingness is the key to my recovery. We have to have the willingness to go outside ourselves and not isolate. We need to get ourselves to meetings, need to be sponsored, read literature, write and keep in touch with others by phone. All of these things require willingness.

Without willingness, I am just not motivated to do the things necessary to stay abstinent, sane and serene. We need to follow the steps, use the tools, and then stretch ourselves in our programs. One way I have found success in stretching my commitment to OA is by doing service at Region level. Every day I pray to HP to keep me willing to do what is necessary to keep me recovering from this dreaded disease. - Brandywine Intergroup, Pennsylvania

REFLECTIONS ON POWERLESSNESS
I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater in Baltimore, and have been blessed with many, many years of recovery, in which I have been granted the gift of consistent abstinence and a new way of life for just about that whole time.

I have been in the program over one-third of my life, and the blessings that I have been given are just astounding. One of those gifts is the reminder that even today, I am still powerless over food, that it can make my life unmanageable.

A Step One prayer I have seen is: “Today, I ask for help with my addiction. Denial has kept me from seeing how powerless I am and how my life is unmanageable. I need to learn and remember that I have an incurable illness and that abstinence is the only way to deal with it.”

I was, am, and will always be a compulsive overeater. Even after all these years, occasional thoughts and compulsions about food will surface inside me. I don’t berate myself for these thoughts, I simply accept that these thoughts are a part of the disease I have. The more I accept my disease, the more willing I am to do the things to stay in the present moment and not eat compulsively. I can make a phone call, say a prayer, do a little service, write, read literature, or go to a meeting. These are all simple things that I can do that give me so much more serenity and life than eating extra food that I simply don’t need.

I am grateful to all of you, who remind me to do these things when I feel compulsive or less than serene. I will always be a part of this OA program, which first saved my life and second, continues to give me a life beyond my wildest dreams! - Anonymous, Maryland

Baltimore Area Intergroup of Overeaters Anonymous
P. O. Box 20013
Baltimore, Maryland 21284
Telephone 410-764-3136